I’ve been trying to write a blog post for about a month now, but honestly I’ve not had the time or even the emotional capacity to put my thoughts into words. I’m still not entirely sure I can. 2020, marks a new year, the start of a new decade: one in which my mama has …
Relationships In The Wake Of Loss
Creating and maintaining meaningful relationships in the wake of loss, one of the hardest things I’ve battled since losing my mother. I think this is something many people who are grieving have to face at some point. I know my dad and I have both struggled with this over the last year, him more than …
Dear Mama
Happy birthday. You’re 49 now, and we’re spending another birthday without you. The last few weeks have been tough, I think a lot of that has to do with knowing this day was looming on the horizon. Just like every single one of our birthdays, each Christmas, anniversary & Mother’s Day do without you. Here …
Sitting Alone with my Grief
Living alone has many perks especially when it’s in a beautiful place surrounded by horses. Yet when your grief hits you hard and it’s overwhelming, living alone becomes somewhat less enticing. Right now I’m in a pretty big wave of sadness, one where going home to an empty house sounds like the last thing I …
Seasons of Grief
As the seasons change, so does my grief. We’re hurtling towards what will (would?) be my mothers 49th birthday - the second one celebrated without her, our second thanksgiving, my dad’s second birthday without her, and of course the hardest one of them all Christmas. Holiday’s are the hardest without her here, the ache in …
Love After Loss
I’ve been so busy I haven’t had much time to write. It’s funny how when someone dies, the first few weeks, months, you think of them all the time. They’re always on your mind no matter what you’re doing. Then as time passes, you still think about them but not at every moment of the …
Untitled – when words fail
When we write about death and grief, it often seems like we try to make out like it’s this beautiful tragedy; when in reality it’s utter shit and leaves gaping holes in your heart, not the ones you can fix either I haven’t begun to scratch the surface of my grief over losing my mother …
Grief and All Her Faces
Grief is a funny thing, it kind of sneaks up on you and all of a sudden it’s there, like a slap in the face. Reminding you that life will never be what it was. Before, they left the world, before the cold grasp of death reached them. Loss is loss, but until you’ve experienced …
A Year in the Upside Down
we should embrace our loss, our anger, our grief, & let it push us to be stronger, fearless and courageous in the future.
Thoughts in an Airport Lounge
There’s no without. I’m not gone. I’m scattered into so many pieces, sprinkled on your life like new snow. I’m sitting in San Francisco airport, waiting to board a flight back to the “Homeland” - England. This will be my third trip back within the last year. My first- September 2018, not even a full …
The Art of Rachel in the Rain 