There’s no without. I’m not gone. I’m scattered into so many pieces, sprinkled on your life like new snow.

I’m sitting in San Francisco airport, waiting to board a flight back to the “Homeland” – England. This will be my third trip back within the last year. My first- September 2018, not even a full month after the death of my mother. I feel the same way now, as I did then.

This trip is a whole Pandora’s box of emotions. I’m traveling with my sister and her boyfriend (his second trip to Europe, but first with us), yet there’s a cloud hanging over my head..for this weekend marks the one year anniversary of my mother’s death. Whilst I’m excited to once again reconnect with friends and family I don’t get the opportunity to see often, my heart aches knowing I won’t get to share my adventures & time with them, with my mom.

It saddens me to think about how, these three trips to England may not even have come about had it not been for her passing. It opens my eyes to the fact, that life really does just fly by, and so many of us are guilty of letting it pass without a second thought. In reality, death is something that we all face, some much sooner than others. Therefore, we can choose to live a life filled with fear and anger, and a life where we let things control us; or we can embrace each second and each “curve ball” as it comes at us.

The only two things certain in life, are birth and death. We have no control in what happens to us while we’re living. However, we can and do make decisions that can influence the ways in which we spend our days, months and years whilst we’re on earth.